Friday, December 24, 2010

The Divine Intervention - Part Three - The Insignificant One

Read Part One and Two the story before reading this part.

Barney
It was a beautiful winter morning. The sky was clear, and the sun shone brightly.
The cold morning air hit against my face.
I smiled. I was feeling light, happy and liberated.
I had nothing to hold me back. The open road ahead was calling out to me.

The bike drove excellently. It was nothing like the small bike I used to ride at hostel. I wished I could call my friend Arnob, who was a biking freak, and tell him about this bike. Then I remembered that I had promised myself that I was not going to keep in touch with any of the college guys.

I didn’t face much problem riding the heavy bike. I mean, despite its heavy weight, it was very easy to ride.

We rode silently, with Barney sitting quietly behind me.
Occasionally he made me stop the bike. He would get down; take out his huge sophisticated camera, and then he would take a long time adjusting the lens of the camera, checking out the light. I realized this old man was just like me, and how interested he was in admiring the beauty of the nature.

I asked Barney where we were. I mean I had got down from the train at a strange place, and had walked the whole night in the dark. Then I had driven for about an hour on a bike. I had no idea where the hell I was.

He quickly replied that we were somewhere in Orissa, somewhere near to a town called Sambalpur.
“Good” I replied. “We can fix your leg there”.

We reached Sambalpur in another half an hour.
It was like any other small Indian town, lazy and dirty. The market place was crowded with all kinds of people.

We found a doctor’s clinic in the market.
The doctor confirmed my fears that it was a broken leg. He plastered the leg, and told Barney he should take fifteen days rest, and that he should not put too much pressure on his leg.
Barney looked at me and winked. I just smiled back at him.

We hung around in the town for a little while. We had our lunch in the market. Barney paid for me. I didn’t even object. Hell, how could I object? I had no money. Barney must have guessed my situation. But he didn’t ask me about my past, and I too didn’t tell him anything about it. All that we knew was that we were two strangers from different countries, but we shared the same enthusiasm for travelling and nature.

He bought a few other stuffs for me, a riding jacket, a helmet, riding gloves, and a small tent.
‘He must be stinking rich’ I thought to myself. Why else would somebody pay for a stranger who he wasn’t even sure would stick with him throughout the journey?

After lunch we visited some nearby temples; the Samaleswari Temple, The Leaning Temple of Huma and the Ghanteshwari Temple. Barney was excited about each of them, and kept clicking photos with his camera. I wasn’t too impressed with them. I mean they were all old and everything, but they were just temples.

Then old Barney said we should start moving again. The famous Hirakud Dam was just fifteen kilometers from Sambalpur.

Barney was over the moon to see the world’s largest earthen dam.
The Hirakud was amazing. I mean, it made me feel proud of my country. Hell, it was the first major multipurpose river valley project started just after India's independence. My people weren’t so lazy and useless after all.

I had just read about the Hirakud in geography books. But standing in front of it was something else. It was massive! Maybe more than twenty five kilometers in length.
After that we started moving again. Our next target was to reach the Kumarbandh village in the Belpahar-Banharpali range before night fall. It was around ninety kilometers from Sambalpur.

We reached Kumarbandh in the late evening. Barney told me about an island called Cattle Island at one of the extreme points of the Hirakud Reservoir.

Cattle Island? What kind of name was that?” I asked

“The island is actually a submerged hill, and before the construction of the Hirakud Dam it was a developed village. During the resettlement period, the villagers left some of their cattle behind; when the dam construction was over, the cattle settled on the hilltop” Barney told me.

I was amazed. I mean, wasn’t I supposed to be the local guy here? It was the foreigner who was educating the local guy about his own country.

We left our bike near the reservoir, and hired a boat to reach the island.

Barney started conversing with the boat man in his strong accented Hindi. I smiled at myself. At least he is trying to belong here, trying to be a part of our language and culture. And what we did was try and ape them, trying to copy their accent, their culture, their food, their way of living. The irony of the situation made me smile.

The boat man was telling Barney “The nearby area filled up with the reservoir water, turning the hilltop into an island. The cattle were now wild, very swift and not easily caught. Living on a hilltop with dense forest, they are larger than your tame cattle. Almost all of them are white in color.”
The boat man was acting like our guide.

“Sometimes we try to capture these animals from time to time, but these hunts are rarely successful.” he said.

“These animals provide a contrasting picture of their breed returning to life in the wild. Nature is strange” Barney commented with a sigh.

Anyway, that was much of my first day with this stranger from a different part of the world who had befriended me. He had actually saved me from destructing myself.

Sometimes I still think about this spirited guy, what he meant to me, what was his importance in my life.
I mean he was a rich guy, and must have been to many different countries in the world. In each of these countries he must have met hundreds of different people. I wonder when he thinks about all his adventures all over the world, would he still remember me? Was I significant enough in his life to remember me? I will remember him forever in my life. But would it be the same from his side?

Maybe not. Maybe that’s why he used to take so many photographs; to help him remember.

Ok. So that was the first day with Barney. I ended up travelling with him for over a month. We didn’t have any particular destination in mind. We would spend a few days at some place. And when we felt like it, we would decide our next destination.

This is my story, and I don’t want it to sound like a stupid travelogue. So I won’t get into the details of the journey.

But let me tell you the places we covered over our one month journey.

After Sambalpur our next stop was at Varanasi, the holy place of the hindus in India. Varanasi was six hundred and eighty five kilometers from Sambalpur. And the ride along the NH2 was the best I had ever travelled on.
Barney just loved Varanasi. We stayed there for five days. Barney would follow the other hindu devotees in their deep in the holy river. I was not too enthusiastic about washing my sins in the river, but he forced me to do it. Then we would seat with the holy man. Barney would smoke weed with them. Then they would talk about God, religion, duty and other intellectual shit. I would not take much part in it, just offering a few of my own views here and there, but listening and learning for most of the part.
our route
From Varanasi we travelled to Allahabad which was just a hundred and thirty kilometers from Varanasi.
Barney was amazed at how holy the hindus considered the meeting point of the three rivers. We spent a few days camping at the Triveni Sangam, the confluence of the holy rivers Ganges and Yamuna, and the ancient Sarasvati River.

Then we travelled to the ancient city of the Nawabs, Lucknow.

I had stayed in Uttar Pradesh since my childhood, and I was ashamed that I had never travelled to this city. God, the people here are damn lucky. I had never in my life tasted anything that was even remotely as tasty as the Kakori Kebabs, Galawati Kebabs, Shami Kebabs, Boti Kababs, Patili-ke-Kababs, Ghutwa Kababs and Seekh Kababs that I tasted here. These dishes left an ever lasting taste in my moth. I have never ever been able to enjoy non vegetarian food of any other place, after I had tasted these dishes of heaven.

After Lucknow, Barney wanted to visit Kanpur, my home town. It took a lot of convincing and lies on my part to convince him to skip this city.

We skipped Kanpur, and directly reached Agra, the city of the impressive Taj Mahal.

Needless to say, Barney went crazy here. I guess there was not even a single angle of the Taj from which Barney must not have taken a picture.

While riding to Delhi, Barney whispered in my ears “Ab Delhi dur nahi” (Delhi is not far).

I thought about it, and made my decision.

At our next break, I told Barney about my decision. I would not be able to accompany him any farther. I had reached my destination.

He showed the slightest sign of regret for the smallest second, and then smiled at me, and gave me a hug.
He didn’t ask me why I wanted to stop at Delhi. Good thing though. I would not have been able to reply to that one, for I had not the slightest idea what I was going to do there.

So we said our goodbyes at Delhi.
Barney told me he was going to travel as far as Leh in the extreme north of India. Then he would sell the bike, and maybe go to another country.

I suddenly had an idea.
“Hey, can you give me a call when you want to sell your bike. I might think about buying it from you”.
“Sure. Give me a number where I can call you” he said.

I hesitated. I didn’t have any contact number.
“I will contact you. Give me your number”, I said.

He laughed. “Boy, are you stupid? You travelled with me for over a month. Do I ever stay at one place for too long? I don’t have any contact number. That is the bottom line, right? I just don’t want to be followed wherever I go. It is just me and my bike”.

Now tell me, how could you not admire a guy who could say things like that?

Anyway, that was the end of my jourmney. But my story isn’t finished yet.
The initial one month in Delhi was the hardest in my life, even harder than the days I had to endure studying the engineering subjects. I was always hungry, tired and frustrated.

But I never cried. I never complained.

I had learnt better. After jumping the train, the course of events in my life had taught me enough. Life was a journey. We just have to keep on travelling. Sometimes we might take a wrong turn and end up at a dead end. But we always have the option to take a reverse, and find another road.

I finally landed a job at a call center.
I didn’t like the job, but I needed it.

At the same time I also developed a fascination for photography. I wanted to know why Barney loved photography so much.

I would work at the call centre at night, and attend a photography class during the day.
I guess I just had the knack for photography, because it was easy for me. I just loved it. Not like the engineering studies I so used to hate.

When you love what you are doing, you put all your heart and soul into it.
I soon managed to save enough to be able to buy a Nikon SLR. That was my first camera.

After that it was relatively easy.

I soon started taking photographs all the time. I would sleep with my camera. Even during eating I would check out how the food on my plate looked through the lenses.

When you put your all in one thing, you are bound to succeed. My first photo of the sun set soon won the first prize in a local photography competition.

After that there was no looking back. Very soon various photography and travel magazines were publishing my photos.

And I got a good price for my photographs too.
So I decided to quit the call centre, and devote my entire time and energy to photography.

Very soon I was also writing travelogues for various travel magazines all over the country.

Yes, I also got in touch with Barney.
Thanks to the internet, I soon found out that he was a very famous photographer of France. I got his email address, and dropped him a mail.

The old fella remembered me!

That was enough for me.

It has been six years now since I jumped that train.
I am twenty five now. And I am rich and famous. Not as stinking rich as Barney. But I am happy and independent.

I have my own Royal Enfield now. And I travel with it all over the country. And the funny thing is I get paid for it too.

I get paid for what I love doing.

I sometimes get invited to speak at colleges and corporate bodies. They pay me for listening to me speak shit about my life. They say it is inspiring for the students and the employees.

I am always surprised.
Me?
My life serves as an inspiration to people? Me, who once thought of ending his life, me, who jumped from the train because he had no idea, what to do with his life, or where to go.

If my life could be an inspiration, I am damn sure your’s would be even better.
Just believe in yourself, and follow your dreams.

Yeah, yeah, I know I sound corny now, just like those fat successful sons- of- bitches who used to lecture us just because they were successful and we were not.

But I have earned that privilege, don’t you think so?

Yeah, and the next time you see a photo in a wildlife or travel magazine, signed ‘Amc’, and you start wondering how lucky the photographer must be, just tell yourself that this guy once considered himself to be a loser, big enough to think about ending his own life.
 
      Signed
  Yours truly

      Amc


   - Concluded








Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Divine Intervention - Part Two - 'On the Road Again'

Read Part One before reading Part Two of the story 

I sat there, in the dark, crying.

What have I done? What had I done to my life?
Why was I struck here?
Why am I the way I am?
How did I reach this stage in my life?

I had screwed up big time.
I kept telling myself that I was special, different from the others, but the fact of the matter was that I was a big time loser, who could never fit into this society. I was a runaway kid, a kid nineteen years of age, who had no idea what he wanted to do in life, who had an ego as big as the earth itself.

I will never survive here. I am a loser. I don’t deserve to live. I would do myself and this world a huge favor by ending my life.

I sat there for half an hour, crying. I just cannot tell you how I was feeling at that moment.
Some moments just cannot be described. You have to live those moments yourself to understand them.

I used to be the top ranker in my class at school. How did I ever get myself into this situation in life?

At that moment, something extraordinary happened. Something inside me stirred, and I could hear a voice in my head.

‘What are you doing, boy? How can you ever think like that?’

I was in a trance. I could not feel anything, just the booming voice in my head.

‘You are here for a purpose. There is a plan for you too. You are part of a larger master plan. Don’t give up now, boy. Good things are in store for you. Just keep walking. You will get there eventually.’

I never believed in God. I mean, I never showed any disrespect to God, but I never asked anything from that supreme power. I trusted my instincts more, and believed finally I would get what I wanted.

I wondered if this voice in my head was actually God.

I had no answer. But something in me had changed. I stopped crying. I felt a new fresh surge of power in me.

I had no idea what I was thinking, or what I was going to do. I just knew that I should not give up now. I had to keep walking.

Yes, that’s what I will do, I will keep walking. I will reach somewhere.

I looked into my wallet. There wasn’t much cash left.

I got up, and started walking towards the train track.

I started walking beside the track. The full moon in the sky helped. It made it less scary.
But I was still scared. Sacred of the dark, scared about my safety, scared of the future.

‘Being scared is a good thing, boy. It tells you that you still love yourself and worry about your welfare’ the voice in my head boomed again.

There wasn’t even a light in sight. There was darkness as far as I could see. The cries of the insects and the animals in the jungle caused goose bumps on my skin. The cold weather too did not help much either. And I had left my jacket on the train.

I kept walking.
Don’t ask me how long I walked. I don’t know. I didn’t have a watch to tell me what time of the night it was.

I just kept walking, as if I was under a spell.
I felt no pain; I was not tired even after walking for hours.
Damn, if you ever felt the way I was feeling at that moment, you would forget pain and all.
But you have never felt like that, ever, so you will never understand from where I got the strength to walk that far.

Have you ever felt like if you don’t do something, you are no longer going to live? Like when you are new to swimming, and your instructor throws you in the middle of the pool, you know you just have to keep on paddling, even if the cold water enters your moth, your nostrils, and the water reaching your lungs. You just have to keep on paddling to see the light of the next day. You had no other option.

That was my situation then.

Anyways, I kept walking, and after what seemed eternity light dawned in the sky.
It had been years since I saw the sunrise. At the hostel I used to go to bed only hours before the sunrise.

It was beautiful, the way the dark slowly gave way to light, as if the giant screen at the movies was being lifted, to revel the more beautiful and delicate things behind it.

I finally saw a man far across the paddy fields, coming out to do his morning business.

I was never so happy to see another fellow human being ever in my life. All my hatred and feeling of superiority over other humans just evaporated. It was like I had seen someone after being marooned on a deserted island for years.

I waved and shouted at him, laughing and jumping like a mad man. He saw me, but felt he needed some time alone for his private business early in the morning.

I wasn’t angry with him or anything. I felt like a changed person. I was happy. I was excited about the journey ahead.

I decided to get off the rail track. I jumped into the field beside the track. The thick thorny bushes hurt my skin, but I was still happy. It was like I was intoxicated, and felt no pain, only ecstasy.

I walked slowly across the field of thorny bushes. Finally I could see the road now.

I climbed out of the field, brushed myself, and got on the road.

It was like I had just been released after spending years in the jail.

The weather was fine, and I felt hungry now. But I still could not see any hotels or anything.
I kept walking, with my tummy growling.

There was still no sign of anyone on the road, no man, no vehicles.
I kept walking for about an hour more.

Far away in the distance I could now see the outline of a man. Something near him glittered in the sun.
I smiled to myself, and walked faster.

It was a man. An old man. And his bike.

A blonde man, maybe a European. He was an old guy, maybe around sixty.
He was wearing a pair of shorts, and a shirt thrown loosely over his body, just like all Europeans dress up when in India. He had a pony tail tied behind his head.

He was sitting on the ground beside his bike. I could see that he was hurt.

I walked closer to him, and said ‘Hi’.
He looked up at me with suspicion. But the eagerness to meet some one must have clearly shown on my face, for he slowly gave me a crooked grin.

“Hello. Good morning”. He said that in Hindi.
“Wow! You speak Hindi?” I said in Hindi too, excited about something related to my country, after a long time.
“Yes, I have been living here for over two years now”, he said.
“Why? You work here?” I asked.
“No. I just love this country. I am travelling all over the country on my bike”, he said with a smile.

I smiled. Here I was, cursing, and hating every little thing related to this country. And here was this old guy, who had come from some other part of the world because he loves it here. I felt a strange feeling of pride in my heart. I had never felt proud about my country before.

I asked him if he had a cigarette. He offered me one, and I sat down beside him.

We started talking. His name was Barney. He was a sixty two year old French guy.
He had been in India for almost two years now. He had traveled the whole of south India, on his Royal Enfield Classic.

I asked him why he was travelling like this. I mean I thought he was one of those guys who travel all over the world with a message of peace, acting as if God himself had sent them to be the prophets of mankind.

No. He was travelling, just for the heck of it, just because he enjoyed it. He travelled at his own leisurely pace, halting and staying in the small villages, mixing up with the villagers, and then moving on to his next destination when he felt like.

Last night while travelling on this road, he met with an accident, and had hurt his leg. From the grimace on his face, I feared he might have broken it.

He asked me about me. I didn’t feel like telling him my story. I mean you could not tell a free and liberated person like Barney about your loser story. He would laugh at your face.

So I told him that I was just travelling with no particular destination in mind.
That brought a smile on his old face.

“Want to join me, boy?” he asked.

That’s what I love about these people. If it had been some person from my country, he would not have talked with a stranger in the first place, let alone invite him to join on a journey together. Barney was the kind of person I admired, and I wanted to be like him.

I thought about it. I had no better option in front of me. Maybe this was the ‘good thing’ in my life that the voice in my head was talking about.

“How do you intend to travel with that broken leg of yours?” I asked him.
“Oh, its nothing. I have had worse things happen to me in my life while I was in the Army in France”, he said with a smile. My respect for this old guy increased ten fold.

“Can you ride a bike?” he asked me.
I thought about it. I used to ride a 100 cc bike at the hostel. It seemed like a toy in front of this 500cc monster bike.

“Yeah. But I have never driven such a heavy bike. I don’t know” I was confused. I mean I weighed only fifty kilos. The thought of controlling this 180 kilo bike just scared the shit out of me.

“Come on boy. It’s not about how heavy the bike is. It’s how you control it”, Barney said with a hand on my shoulder.

I have never forgotten that line of Barney in my life ever after. In the face of extreme danger or trouble I reminded myself that it did not matter how big the danger was. What matters is how I face the situation.

“Ok”, I said. “So where are we going?” I asked with a smile.
“No idea. You tell me where you want to go”, he said with another big smile.

I loved this old guy. I just adored him.

“Ok. Let’s ride then”, I said and jumped up.
“Lead the way, boy”, he said, and I helped him get up on the bike.

This is going to be fun, I thought to myself. It was time to leave the past behind me.

    - to be continued -

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Divine Intervention - Part One - 'Cobwebs in the Head'

The stupid train was finally pulling out of the station.

It was over half an hour late.
Why can’t the trains in this stupid country ever leave on time? Everything in this damn country is slow, the people, the cars, the public transport system, and even the economic growth.

I just hope I can get out this god-forsaken country as soon as possible.
I just can’t bear to be here any longer. The whole damn system here is so rotten, right from the bureaucratic system, to the thinking of the people.

We Indians are easily the biggest losers in the whole world. We dream of being counted amongst the super powers of the world. Hah, what a joke! We are light years away from being a Super power. With the kind of thinking that my people harbor, we can only dream of that. And changing a person’s thinking is easily the slowest progress in human kind’s history.

And the problem is if you don’t think just like the other clowns here, you are blamed, and called ‘A fool, an idiot, a nincompoop, who just doesn’t deserve to live in the society’.

What these idiots don’t understand is that a person could be just ahead of his times.
He could be way too wiser than you all, to be a part of your moth-infested society, your crap country.

But that’s where the problem lies. I was way ahead of this age.
I wasn’t born to live and die like the other losers in this country, living from hand to mouth, running after money, having dozens of children, and dying neglected and soon forgotten.
I was here to be remembered even after I was gone, and I will make sure of that.

The train stopped again, just five minutes after leaving the platform.

I leaned outside from the window of my sleeper class coach, trying to get some fresh air to cool my mind.
Instead a weft of shit-smelling air found the way through my nostrils. I almost vomited.

I saw a few beggar boys, small kids, about six or seven years, playing beside the tracks, their dirty smelly clothes just not enough to preserve their self respect. The government did nothing for them, did nothing to help their parents. Come to think of it, their parents too must have deserted these stupid dirty boys here in the first place.

A man ran beside the tracks now, just below my window, trying to get up on the train. How on earth did he ever dream of getting on the train with that child in one hand, and that dirty bag in the other hand, only he knew? His four other children and his wife ran after him, the mother of the five children hitting the child in front of her, to make him move faster, like a farmer hitting his bullock to make them move faster.

Damn this country! Damn its people!

Damn the education system! Damn my college for throwing me out!

How could they ever throw out somebody like me out of the college?
I mean, does it really matter so much if a person could not use all those stupid instruments to draw some stupid drawings in Engineering Drawing? Does it really matter so much if a person could not understand the Heat Expansion, or the Theory of Thermodynamics, or for the matter calculate the stupid forces on each hand of a stupid metal frame called Truss?

I know I use the word ‘stupid’ quite a lot.

But who cares about heat? Who cares about some stupid metals? Who cares about pulleys and gears?
Are there not more interesting things on this earth? Why can’t a person find more interest studying the flight of a bird in the sky, or the first bloom of the flowers, or the melting of the mountain snow, or spend the evening studying the strange colors of the setting sun?

Are they not more interesting?
We live on this beautiful earth, we live just this once.
So why would one want to waste his time studying non living things, instead of admiring God’s work?

They threw me out because I could not clear those stupid subjects even in the third attempt. They marked ‘Not Fit for Technical Education’ on my mark sheet, as if I cared the least about their stupid education.

I didn’t need teachers. I could teach myself. I had always been a bright kid even at school.

I liked my school. They gave us free periods. They taught us music, gardening and horse riding.
I liked being in the open, under the sky. I felt suffocated in the classroom. Even at home I used to spend more time on the terrace than in my room.

The ‘Father of the Nation’ came inside the coach, and gestured for his huge family to sit on the seat opposite me. There was already an elderly couple sitting there. The man politely asked them to adjust a little. “Just for two stations, tauji”, he said, putting up his best smile.

How on earth did he expect his huge family of seven to sit there, only he knew, or maybe God.

But his smile and his polite request worked wonders. The old couple moved closer, trying to accommodate the others. The old man even made one kid seat on his lap.

What is wrong with these people? Why can’t they just say ‘No’ sometimes?

This was too much for me. I put down my book, knowing very well that I would never be able to read with this circus in front of me.

I needed a smoke.

I got up from my seat, and walked with great difficulty trying not to step over the twelve pairs of legs around me.

I reached the door.
The train had finally picked up good speed, but knowing my country well, I was sure this speed won’t last till a long time.

No one was there near the door, which was quite an unlikely sight in India, where there is always a family travelling near the door, because they could not manage to get the tickets at the last moment.

I lit my cigarette.
I took a long puff, and leaned out of the door. The fresh country air was refreshing.
I took another drag from my cigarette, and noticed the ‘No Smoking’ board near the door.

The full moon was up in the clear sky. It was just the kind of night I liked to spend on the hostel terrace. The fog and mist had slowly started enveloping the air. The cold air pinched my face and hands. But I liked the cold, and very rarely would I ever put on my jacket. Even in the cold winters of Uttar Pradesh, I would sometimes go out without a sweater or jacket. I always believed that it was what you think in the mind that makes your body react to the situation. If you think ‘hot’ your body won’t even know that it was cold.

I felt a hand on my left shoulder. I looked back, and immediately dropped my cigarette, which I was holding in the other hand, outside the train.

It was a police man.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a stern voice.
“Nothing. Just standing here” I replied in an indifferent voice.
“Smoking here, huh? Don’t you know it’s a punishable offence?” He must have been thinking about the five hundred rupees fine he would now be forking out from me.

Stupid man.

I was much smarter than him. I have been in this situation a hundred times before.
“No. I wasn’t smoking.” I said, showing him my empty hands.

He could do nothing, the helpless idiot, until he caught me red handed with the cigarette. He watched helplessly as the last of the smoke from my previous puff from the cigarette accompanied the smell of tobacco around me.

He knew he had missed his chance. He made a face, and watched the five hundred rupees slip out from his hands. He walked away, sounding a warning to me not to smoke again.

The loser, I thought and smiled.

The train had slowed down now.

It was pitch black outside. The train had stopped in the middle of nowhere.

Damn the trains of this country. Why can they never run like normal trains? Why do they always run at the speed of a bullock cart?

I didn’t want to get back to my seat, and watch the faces of those stupid kids again.

I got down from the train.

I could see other inquisitive and eager minds get down from the other coaches, trying to find out what was wrong. There was no red signal ahead. Maybe the train driver felt like peeing, and stopped the train. He was free to do any damn thing in this stupid country. It wasn’t really his duty to run the train on time. If someone misses some important meeting, or suffers a financial loss because of him, wasn’t really his problem. He was in a free country, and could do anything he wanted to do. The constitution of the country gave him this freedom.

I stood there for over five minutes. The driver wasn’t really in a hurry to move.

‘What the hell is the problem of these people? May this country rot in hell’.

The train had stopped in the middle of nowhere. There wasn’t even a light in sight as far as I could see. Tall trees were on both sides of the tracks. He had stopped the train right at the start of the forest area.

I took out a cigarette. I hadn’t been able to finish my last one because of the stupid policeman.

I walked a little farther away from the train, and stepped over the edge of the forest.
I lit my cigarette, and took a few more steps.

I would not be reaching Kanpur before tomorrow evening, if we continue to travel at this rate.

Come to think of it, what better would it be even if I even reach there on time? I just could not face my uncle. I just could not. How would I tell him that I had been kicked out of the college? Not that it would make any difference to him. I don’t think he would even bother if he found out that I was murdered the last night.

After my father died in that accident in the factory three years ago, all my uncle had done for me was just lend me a small room at the back of his house. But he was regular in sending me the three thousand rupees on the fifth of every month. Three thousand rupees, that’s all.

I tried to remember the face of my mother. I could vaguely remember her face. I was just two years old when she had died. I did not even have a photograph of her.

I sat down on a piece of rock, under the trees. It was quite dark there, despite the full moon in the sky.

I heard the train blow a whistle.

‘What am I thinking? What would I do after going back to Kanpur?’

The train blew another whistle, and I could hear the slow and steadily building thrust of the heavy engine.

‘I cannot go back there’.

The sound of the engine told me that it was picking up speed now.

‘Why would he even allow me to stay at his house?’

The long whistle of the train from a far away distance broke the silence of the night.

I realized I had just let go of my past along with the train.
Maybe my future too. Along with my entire luggage.


      - to be continued  

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Race

Life is a Race, God is your end point.

Came into this world with a special feeling,
A feeling that you are special, and sent here for a reason.
With all the attention and care, you think yourself to be a prince,
And that your life will never change with the change in season.

Blessed by everyone, cared by all, you spend your time
Playing with the trees, under the clear blue sky.
Nothing much to do, you slowly get tired of your life,
Need some change, spread your wings, and try to fly.

You open your eyes, and look at the distant crowd ahead,
And realize, you are late, it has already began, The Race.
You are young and confident; and will catch up with them,
You believe everything in the world you are ready to face.

Stretch your every nerve, prepare for the race ahead,
With dreams in your eyes, you trust yourself with reasons good,
The start is good; you are fresh and cover good distance,
Life is easy, just the way you told yourself it would.

Running a long time, your mind starts to have second thoughts,
Keep going, almost there; just a little way ahead it lay.
Your heart is with you, but your body now starts to bleed,
And they try to hurt you, those Scary faces along the way.

Your body burns, the blood gushing through your veins,
The pain is unbearable, and you gasp for that one last breath.
And one day you find He is already here, blocking your way,
His face scary, with an axe in his hand, you have finally met Death.

Standing outside the gates of Heaven, you are confused and scared,
Your dream unfulfilled, your heart shattered with the unfinished song.
He had sent you, the divine power, your Creator,
You are confused, and ask him what went wrong?

You were special, and different from the others,
Not following the crowd, your own path you had to take,
Pursuing other’s dream, you wasted your time,
When an entirely different story, I had, for your sake.

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Rich Man's Woe

If you could see beyond his expensive suit
He is rich, famous and well known.
Everything in the world he owned.
Everything a man could ask for,
But his heart sometimes still moaned.

He stood there, watching,
Over the beautiful garden outside his house, grand,
Wearing his branded evening wear,
The expensive gold ring shining in his hand.

In his personal garage, the boy now cleans
His pride, his fleet of seven Cars.
Again The strange thought crosses his mind,
Bringing to life, his heart’s same old Scars

He tries to avoid them, but again
He thinks about his past, his life.
His childhood, his school, his youth,
The day he had first met his wife.

He feels strange, he feels alone,
Holding in his hands the glass of his expensive wine,
His mind races back, reminding him
The days of his youth gone by, the days fine.

He remembers his books, his toys,
The days spent in the company of his friends.
Amidst all the money and gold,
Feel lonely, his heart sometimes tends.

He shivers, and feels cold,
The cool sea breeze sweeps across the floor,
Even after all the fame and money,
His heart still asks for more.

What good is all his riches, he thinks,
And wipes from his eye, that solitary tear,
This loneliness, this pain,
Is much more than what his old heart can bear.

If only God gave him another chance,
To turn the pages, and Go back in his life, old,
For the company of his good friends,
Happily, he would give up the all world’s gold.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A Free Soul

Life is like a 5-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.

I am the happiest man in the world,
As a felling of ecstasy grabs my Heart,
I put on my jacket, and my gloves,
And with a kick, the throbbing engine does Start.

With he tank full, and the backpack over my shoulder,
The hills calling, I start my journey Long,
The sound of the heavy engine stirs my soul,
I am free, and I break into a Song.

The Sun rises slowly in the sky,
And the morning air, cold, pinches my Face.
I leave the crowd far behind, I am finally free,
So lucky to have come out of that Race.

The truck driver now gives me way,
I return a grateful salute, with a wave of my Hand.
With a smile I look back in the mirror,
And leave my past behind on that last road Bend.

I think about the past,
It is gone, And I feel bad for my Boss,
Poor fellow, If only he had read me better,
He would never have suffered this Loss.

I look farther back,
And in my mind I remember my teacher, Old.
His books and lessons wasted,
Coz’ to the road, I have now my soul Sold.

The thunder of the heavens breaks the silence,
The sky opens, and down now comes the Rain.
Washing away my past, my mistakes,
And making me free from that sharp Pain.

No money, No idea about the future,
But tell me, the future Who has Seen?
But one day proudly I can tell my kids,
The Free Soul that I had once Been.


Note from the Author
This one is dedicated to all those wonderful free souls with whom I have ever had the pleasure of riding,
and to all the Riders of the Free World.
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From the Free World - Ashraf 's personal blogsite by Ashraf Mansoor Choudhury is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.